To: Mr. Brad Blackstone
From: Mohamed Akmal
Date: September 10, 2016
Subject: Self-introduction of AkmalDear Brad,
I am Mohamed Akmal Akashah studying Sustainable Infrastructure Engineering (Building Services). Previously, I was from Clean Energy Diploma Course in Singapore Polytechnic. I have an interest in sports, music and martial arts. My goal during my stint here in SIT is learn to build environmentally friendly buildings. In the future, I aim to be an all rounded professional engineer, designing buildings which will benefit clients in terms of cost and energy efficiency.
Regards,
Akmal
SIE 2016
Group 1
-Commented on Ahmad Naqeef's formal letter on 15/09/2016
-Commented on Masyita's formal letter on 15/09/2016
-Revised on 21/09/2016
Thank you, Akmal, for this generally clear and very concise letter. It is certainly to the point with no embellishments. The last sentence needs review:
ReplyDeleteIn the future, I aim to be an all rounded professional engineer in the designing buildings which are more environmentally friendly, cost efficient and buildings which will benefit consumers.
Could you revise this for the sake of clarity?
Thank you for the feedback Brad. I'll revise it again.
ReplyDeleteRegards
Hi Akmal,
ReplyDeleteThis is a very informative letter written. I hope for your dreams to come true as a professional engineer one day!
Pertaining to the sentence below, maybe you can split it into 2 different sentences? It still seems slightly off.
"In the future, I aim to be an all rounded professional engineer, designing buildings which will benefit clients in terms of cost and energy efficiency."
Dayn